In a hopeless attempt to protect my identity, call me JaneDoe.

When people (in Poland , that is) ask me where I come from, I tell them England.

They immediately fall at my feet and assume I’m posh and speak the Queen’s English (which I don’t) -thanks to my ‘Foreign accent Syndrome‘ which may I point out did not occur as a result of any head injury whatsoever.

So this is me coming clean:

I’m a Nigerian girl, born and raised in Lagos. The only time I’ve ever been on a plane in my life was when I came to Poland. I have never been to England. (at least not that I remember- my folks mentioned something about us going on holiday when I was three and I’ve got pictures to that effect)

This blog chronicles my ‘one hell of a ride’ in Poland from a time when I was stupid, dead broke, making a lot of money, dead broke again. (not necessarily in that order), to a time when I taught English (as a result of nothing else to do since other ‘aliens’ like me either studied, sold fake Nike shoes at the stadium, or taught English provided they were able construct decent sentences and fake an accent) to a time when I was arrested and thrown in a prison where I was the only black girl unable to communicate in the local language for five months, to a time when I attempted my first unsuccessful suicide and ended up mentally unstable for a while as a result, (I’m OK now) to my endless pursuit for a visa that would enable me settle down and live a ‘normal’ life, to meeting my husband who I’m not sure I could have come this far without.

Everything you read on this blog really did happen to me.

I’ve come to accept that problems are good. Someone once said, without problems, growth cannot happen, and no problem ever came without a solution.(I’m still waiting for mine)

I’m a frustrated poker player, shoe lover and compulsive shopaholic with the junk to prove it.